Although it may look like my story, it is your story too; our story. The story of being perfectly imperfect.
I published a book in 2017, Hey You! See What you Missed Struggling to be Perfect. I have always wanted to share my story with the world. The first thought of writing a book came in 2013, thereabouts. I remember my love for reading and writing as early as the days in primary school. Then, in a math class, with a instructor teaching away at the front of the room, I would be seen somewhere in the middle row, heads down, hands on my lap completely lost to the algebra of that moment. I read all the storybooks in my school library. All of them! As I read the books, at some point, I knew I would release mine too.
And now, on the launch of Hey You! There I was, flurry with excitement, a mixture of nervous looks. Questions such as “Am I really doing it?” “Do I really deserve it?” “Will it really sell?” and “How do I really look authentic” Lots of self-doubt and unsure footing.
Meanwhile, as the books hit the market, I began to receive feedback. Gabriel, the CEO of Writers Guild, who published my book started it.
“Dennis, you have a very good book. It is unique, simple and easy to understand despite having such complex topics.” I nod and smile, and say my usual, “okay, thank you.”
Soon after, people I have taught, met, supported, the community around me who had access to the book wrote to me:
“I was struggling with self-confidence, and as I read your book, I realized that I can be calm because I’m alright.”
“This is a great book Dennis. It inspires me to write my first book. It will be out next year. I will send it to you so you can have a look at it.”
I got several emails, texts and phone calls on the book.
One special friend from Colombia walked to me at the end of a fellowship that I presented my book and said “I am so inspired by your steps to put together your insights and story in the form of a book. I am starting mine soon.”
Look. Several people loved the book.
But there was a problem.
I didn’t think the book was that good.
I didn’t think I was any good.
In fact, the affirmations, telling myself, trying to act it, didn’t make a difference. I was imperfect to have such transformation happen because of me.
And all along, as I listened to these people, and muttered my “yeah. Thanks”, with a smile, what I heard was “He/she is trying to flatter me. They are being nice.”
Nothing they said made a difference to how I truly, deeply felt inside.
One day, I wrote a personal email to my tribe to share some challenges and breakthroughs I was experiencing. And someone, a member of my community, God bless her soul, called me for a chat.
“Dennis, you know, as I read your book, I had a feeling that something was not complete about it. I felt like you were not sharing everything…”
I cannot remember everything, and the main thing my imperfect self heard was, “Your book sucks, and I want to see the real you!”
Oh, how I BELIEVED her! It matched my belief of the imperfect me.
For once someone telling me the truth. We had a longer conversation, trashing my identity and I went along. For once someone was telling me the truth.
It was with all love, I could sense. Yet, I know how so easily I camped there. Affirming and believing that I am not good enough.
No. I was there all along, in self-hatred, a not good enough mindset that permeated everything I did. Blocked all my uniqueness to the world and all that I could ever be.
Although it’s hard to write this, knowing I have been there, it’s liberating to put pen on paper, knowing someone else could be there, or can be there.
Even when you think, deep down that you are not there. Sometimes, it takes truly questioning your thought, your balance and really thinking if you TRULY VALUE and BELIEVE in who & whose you are.
I want to share my story with the world. I want to show up and be seen for who I am.
There will be critics, people who wonder what I am doing, and there will be that one person, who gains confidence in who they really are because I spoke, and shared my story.
Here is my imperfect gift to you!
And now, I am offering Hey You to you! I am reading it again, and I invite you to READ it too. Let’s share in the wisdom of Dennis at 25 years old and learn to renew our mindset and show up for WHO and WHOSE we TRULY ARE.
Sometimes, our older self has some answers, and sometimes, the younger one does too. Everything you put down, and everything that resonates with you about this is a pointer to who you really are. Don’t dismiss it. Don’t belittle it.
You can get a copy on the following sites:
Get it on Amazon (Print & Kindle Version)
Write to me directly to arrange for a signed copy or concern! firstname.lastname@example.org
Finally, dear, if you are reading till this point, this is for you. I don’t know what you’re dealing with or the circumstances of your life. But I know that YOU are far much more Powerful that you can ever imagine. And you can show up to share your message, as imperfect as you are.